Politics off the record

Flood of posters before the election: It’s all just a political nightmare!

This flood of posters on Claudiaplatz in Innsbruck is a symbol of the election madness in Innsbruck.

(Bild: Birbaumer Johanna)

The flood of posters in Innsbruck in the course of the local council and mayoral elections on April 14 is disfiguring the provincial capital and confusing more and more voters. I also dreamed about it, writes Claus Meinert, head of the "Tiroler Krone", in the "Tiroler Politik Inoffiziell" section.

It's the weekend. I'm at home within my own four walls. I feel good. After a few successful errands, I'm lying comfortably on the couch. Everything is ready for an afternoon of soccer with the private sports channel. Yes, I can afford it, I have to, because the ORF, which I would prefer not to be forced to watch but have to, seems to be on a continuous loop of Formula 1 or some kind of skiing sport.

The devil and holy water
It's just before 3.30 pm and five German Bundesliga matches are about to kick off. But instead of the whistle, I hear the doorbell ring. "Not now," I think and open the door. Pia Tomedi from the KPÖ is standing in front of me. She's on an election tour and wants to make sure I vote. And promises me that housing will become cheaper and rents will only cost half as much if I vote for her in the Innsbruck municipal elections. Sounds tempting, I think. It's just a shame that I've been paying off the loan for my condominium at my bank for 20 years. "Oh well," she says, then she's in the wrong place and turns away. Property and the Communist Party are like the devil and holy water.

Pia Tomedi leads the KPÖ in the Innsbruck election.

(Bild: Birbaumer Christof)

A free visit to the mountain pasture
Back on the sofa, having missed the opening minutes, the first controversial decision after a commotion in "my" team's penalty area. Pure excitement. The doorbell rings again. I reluctantly open the door. Johannes Anzengruber greets me in a friendly manner, pats me on the shoulder and says: "How are you?" I want to tell him that I'm actually watching soccer and don't have time. But he's not interested. He wants to explain his election manifesto to me, emphasizing that housing needs to become more affordable again in Innsbruck. If I tick him off, I'll get a free visit to the Arzler Alm. I try to explain to him that I don't want to go to an alpine pasture, nor ... But he turns away before I've finished talking.

Tursky promises a new start for Innsbruck.

(Bild: Christof Birbaumer)

As I'm about to close the door, I hear a voice. "Hello, wait a minute. It's me. It's Florian." It's Florian Tursky. He guarantees Innsbruck's new beginning - including cheap housing, he smiles. I, on the other hand, reply that the internet here in the area could be improved. But the ex-digital state secretary is apparently hardly interested in that anymore. "My food's getting cold," I try to choke him off. I can explain how the controversial situation in the penalty area ended, as it was 1-0 to the visiting team after a penalty.

Georg Willi - also mayor of Innsbruck in the future?

(Bild: Birbaumer Christof)

When the city boss rings the bell
The game is rippling along and the bell rings again. It's Georg Willi. "Mr. Mayor, what brings you to me?" I try to be friendly. He wants to explain to me why property and rental prices have risen so much in Innsbruck in recent years and why all the other parties are to blame. He would change that, provided he remained mayor. I nod in agreement - at least I want to see the last few minutes before the half-time break ... But he just won't take no for an answer. In the background, I can hear the analysis of the most important moments of the first half begin. At some point Willi leaves, but I stay leaning against the door. Someone will be around the corner soon, I think.

And indeed. It's Elli Mayr from the SPÖ. She asks me why I'm looking so depressed and insists that I should look to the future with more courage. But all I really want to do is watch soccer on TV, I think. She also promises me that she will make housing cheaper and that every child will receive the best education. "Who's going to pay for all that?" I ask. I shouldn't be anxious about this, I should have more courage. More taxes too, I think. I've had enough. I say thank you, goodbye and lock the front door. At least I want to enjoy the second half in peace.

The doorbell rang a few more times, including Markus Lassenberger from the FPÖ standing in front of the locked door. I would no longer need to lock the door in future. He would provide security and cheaper housing, I heard him say. But I didn't open the door.

It was all just a dream ...
Then a loud bang outside. I wake up and realize that I had been asleep. I look at the clock and see that it's still half an hour until kick-off. I smile. It was all just a political dream that had nothing to do with reality.