On your own

Single parents and their challenges

Single parents have to manage children, job and household alone.

(Bild: stock.adobe.com)

One in five families in Austria consists of just one parent and their children. Women in particular are affected by this situation and face major challenges. Some mothers even have to give up work because there is not enough childcare available.

"I'm really alone with my little one most of the time, juggling work, household chores and everyday life and things to do. I don't have time to talk to you about my situation." The first press inquiry to a single parent already sums up the situation of mothers: they have no capacity to draw attention to themselves and their problems. The Austrian Platform for Single Parents (ÖPA) counted 167,900 single-parent families last year. Of these, 22,100 are single fathers.

Childcare in rural areas in particular makes it difficult for mothers to be gainfully employed alongside raising children. "There are services here in Upper Austria. But they cost a lot of money and aren't always good," explains Maria S. She doesn't want to read her real name in the "Krone". "Since I separated from my daughter's father, people have been talking a lot. But it's still important to me that I talk about the situation of single parents." The 35-year-old cannot fall back on her parents. They work themselves and can't step in spontaneously. "What else can I do but stay at home when my child is ill or simply doesn't want to go to nursery?"

Shared apartment as a solution for single parents
One of the mother's big wishes: "More cohesion among women. I would like to live in a shared flat. Because I also need support outside of kindergarten hours." From June, the Upper Austrian has to be available to the employment service for 20 hours. If she is unable to do this, she will fall under the emergency rule. "Unfortunately, I can't guarantee that until my child is at school. And it will be another two years before then," says the single parent. The child's father looks after the five-year-old every other weekend, but the rest of the time Maria S. is on her own.  

Tamara Anna Zuchna with her son Levi Taio on a trip to Vienna

(Bild: zVg)

Similar situation, different province: Tamara Anna Zuchna lives in Salzburg with her 2.5-year-old son. The father already decided against the family during the pregnancy. "I made a conscious decision to go it alone, even if I wasn't fully aware of the consequences," the 30-year-old sums up.

The biggest challenge for the single parent is the worries and fears that she has to bear alone and cannot share with a partner. "Even though I have a perfect social network and emotional support - in the end, I have sole custody and make all parenting decisions alone."  

No support due to high rent
The woman from Salzburg is also on her own when it comes to finances. "I made extensive enquiries with social workers in advance: we didn't qualify for housing benefit because our apartment was too expensive." A problem familiar to many in Salzburg. 

Tamara Anna Zuchna and little Levi Taio's grandparents and uncle are big pillars in their lives. "They pick him up from nursery when I'm doing my nursing degree." 

The single mother has now learned to accept help. "It's good when friends send me motivational messages and meet up with me when time allows." Despite all these challenges, the Salzburg native remains full of hope. "My son and I are a strong team, we are discovering the world together and will have a great future together."

More than 22,00 solo dads active
Separation from the child's mother, a stroke of fate or other reasons: According to the Austrian Platform for Single Parents (ÖPA), 22,100 fathers are also solely responsible for their family in the Alpine republic. "These single dads have the same difficulties as mothers," emphasizes ÖPA Managing Director Doris Pettighofer in an interview with the "Krone" - and continues: "Securing their livelihood is the top priority so that the children have the same opportunities in life as children from all other families."

The ÖPA is often the first point of contact for fathers or mothers who are faced with the major hurdle of "having to manage everything alone". Pettighofer: "We then refer those seeking help to our 25 organizations where they can get help." The ÖPA is also involved in reform groups for new family laws.

The stories of Maria S. and Tamara Anna Zuchna shed light on the many difficulties faced by single parents in Austria. They are exemplary for thousands of women and men who have to juggle raising children, working and personal needs on a daily basis. Despite the immense burdens and the frequent lack of support from society, these strong women show admirable resilience. Nevertheless, politicians must intervene and help those affected.

Expertin über Herausforderungen:

„Alleinerziehende jonglieren jeden Tag“

The challenges faced by single parents in Austria are often invisible. Financial bottlenecks, the lack of sufficient childcare and the constant balance between work and private life. Katharina Hofer-Schillen supports working women and mothers and helps them to reconcile work and family life. In this interview, she sheds light on the importance of support from family, friends and employers and what practical tips can help to better manage everyday life.

Krone: What are the most common problems faced by single parents?
Katharina Hofer-Schillen: These problems can be experienced by single parents individually and to varying degrees, depending on their personal situation and available resources. How much support there is from the family, friends and the employer.
In some cases, there is the financial burden of missing out on maintenance payments or limited career opportunities due to a lack of childcare. The issue of balancing work and family life is wishful thinking for many. Single parents juggle every day to find time for their children, leaving little time for themselves. This in turn leads to stress and exhaustion when they can't recharge their batteries. Prioritizing the needs of their children leaves little room for their own needs. 
If there is a lack of support from the family and social environment, you feel lonely and alone - responsible for everything, the self-imposed pressure such as perfectionism, wanting to please everyone, lack of recognition. Isolation is the result. School is a huge challenge. No money for tutoring, no time to check schoolwork or to understand it. This can no longer be managed, or only if both parents are involved.

Katharina Hofer-Schillen supports working women and mothers and is an auditor at Beruf & Familie

(Bild: KK)

How can you support them? 
Of course, it's very important to have a supportive environment, people you can trust and to whom you can open up. Pay attention to who and what are my energy drainers. What stresses me out every day? Write down these things, no matter how small, and think about how I can reduce or, at best, eliminate these stress parameters. Distance yourself from people who are not good for you. Consciously build up a helpful network. Where can I find mothers who are equally affected, which people give me energy and strength - are positive. Who could help my children at school? It is also important to involve family and friends when it comes to childcare. Not just grandma. There is also the godfather, the aunt, the siblings, the daughter of the best friend, the neighbor, etc. The trust has to be there. Then it also feels good when the child is placed there.

What phrases do you recommend to offer help? You don't want to offend anyone.
I keep hearing the phrase: "I would love to do things that I enjoy, but I don't have the time." My answer is: "It's not the time we don't have, it's the time we have that we're using wrongly." More specifically, we spend hours on social networks or zapping in front of the television. Take some of this often pointless waste of time and make quality time out of it. Go for a walk, meet a friend, enjoy a bath. Throw perfectionism overboard and bring the positive egoist into your home. For example, enjoy the sun on the balcony instead of tidying up. Nothing happens if it doesn't happen until the next day.

It's not the time we lack, it's the time we have that we're using wrongly.

Katharina Hofer-Schillen

What support do you expect from the state? 
The childcare options in the countryside and in the city are different. As far as possible, the state should help to improve the living conditions of single parents and increase their chances of a stable and fulfilling life for themselves and their children. Affordable childcare, sufficient childcare places, promoting the expansion of daycare centers or childcare facilities... Affordable housing and support in finding accommodation, offering free or low-cost legal advice. But I'm not talking about anything new here. This has been debated for ages. A lot of things are available, it's just that the information about them is available through very different channels. Who can I contact about the issue of single parents?

How can employers respond?
If attractive family-friendly framework conditions are created, everyday life is much easier to manage. This means flexibility in terms of working hours, home office options, services for families, i.e. discounts, subsidies for vacation childcare/tutoring, health-promoting measures for mothers in particular. As a licensed berufundfamilie auditor, I support companies in developing a family-friendly overall strategy, developing measures to better manage everyday life and thus, as a logical consequence, also a great added value for the company. Being visible and perceived as an attractive and supportive employer is a very positive development.