When parents fight

Tug-of-war over custody: When are children allowed to have a say?

Children rarely have a say in the tug-of-war over custody - according to the law, they should be heard in court and from the age of 14 they can decide for themselves. (symbolic image)

(Bild: ©Markus Bormann - stock.adobe.com)

In the event of a divorce or separation, they are usually the ones who suffer: Daughters and sons who suddenly lose a parent in everyday life and may even become a pawn in a war of the roses between mom and dad. But children also have rights that must be asserted in custody proceedings! 

What rights do children have when mom and dad separate? And what should parents pay attention to? The two Klagenfurt lawyers Christina Mateju-Ertl and Martin Pöck clarify important questions for our "Check your rights" series.

The father pays, but doesn't want to see the child. Does he have a legal right?

Lawyers: Yes, since 2013 it has been possible to enforce contact with a parent in court.

When can a child decide for themselves about their relationship with mom and dad?

Lawyers: Children over the age of 14 may not be forced to have contact against their will. They can also make their own requests regarding upbringing, care and personal contact.

Every month, the "Krone" and the Carinthian Bar Association offer a reader service on a controversial topic.

(Bild: Krone Kreativ)

And younger children?

Lawyers: The court has to hear them - unless the child's welfare is at risk. The child's wishes are weighted accordingly.

My ex has a lot of money, but is officially broke and hardly pays anything for the children.

Lawyers: You must submit an application for the determination of maintenance together with an application for provisional or temporary maintenance to the competent district court. Your ex must provide salary information and you can then quantify your claim.

How do you say this in legalese?

Joint custody: Each parent alone is entitled to represent the child. The consent of the other parent must be obtained for certain actions, such as name changes. Dual residence solution: The parents share care, the child lives in both households.Right to information: The non-custodial parent generally has the right to important information about the child - such as school success, illnesses, accidents, change of residence, trips abroad.

The father wants a dual residence solution. What is that?

Lawyers: The child lives in both households - about one week with mom, one week with dad. However, experience has shown that this only works if there is a good basis for discussion between the parents.

We separate. It's enough if we settle everything verbally because of the children.

Lawyers: Are you married or living together? That makes a difference! Many fathers don't know that simply acknowledging paternity doesn't mean that custody is entrusted to them - in the case of unmarried fathers, this only goes ex lege to the mother.

It annoys me that my ex's new boyfriend even signs excuses for school.

Lawyers: There are rules for patchwork families. Every adult in the household is obliged to take care of the child's welfare - this also includes the demands of everyday life, for example, supporting or representing the mother with custody.