Styrian women help

Mothers of origin: When birth is a farewell

Anonymous mothers give their newborn babies to others - because they hope that their baby will be better off there.

(Bild: BEVIS - stock.adobe.com)

Unimaginable for many - the only salvation for others: 171 women have given birth anonymously since 2001 and given their child up for adoption immediately after the birth. On Mother's Day, the fate of the so-called "shadow mothers" weighs particularly heavily. Coordinators from the Caritas Anonymous Birth Contact Point tell the stories of these women.

They are mothers who will rarely reveal it openly. Women who saw no other option than to give up their newborn child. "Mothers of origin decide to give birth anonymously out of a difficult emergency situation," explains Ulla Pongratz-Elsnig, lawyer and social counselor. Together with psychologist Verena Reis, she has been coordinating the Caritas Anonymous Birth Contact Point since the beginning of the year. The two experienced counselors know what they are talking about: The fate of these women weighs particularly heavily on Mother's Day, which is why they were remembered on Saturday, the Day of Mothers of Origin or Shadow Mothers.

"The day was founded in 1990 near Seattle by those affected," says Reis. With her commitment, she also wants to create acceptance in Styria and dispel prejudices. "These mothers are often seen as irresponsible by society, but this decision takes a lot of courage," says Reis. Since its establishment in 2001, the contact point has been able to support 171 women (the average age was 28) during childbirth and beyond, six of them in the previous year alone. "There is no one type of woman, they come from all walks of life and age groups," says Reis.

Ulla Pongratz-Elsnig and Verena Reis (right) from the Caritas Anonymous Birth Contact Point.

(Bild: CARITAS)

But they all have one thing in common: they are convinced that their child would be better off somewhere else. "It's a decision made out of love for the child. They never forget it and will always remain moms," says Reis. These are often suppressed pregnancies that are only noticed late or are associated with a great deal of shame. For financial, religious or personal reasons - or simply because they are too young. In other cases, mental illness or violent relationships play a role. "Often the woman can't detach herself from her partner, but doesn't want to bring a child into the situation," explains Reis.

The mothers are convinced that their child would be better off somewhere else. It is a decision made out of love for the child. They never forget it and will always remain moms.

Verena Reis, Klinische- und Gesundheitspsychologin und Koordinatorin der Kontaktstelle Anonyme Mütter

Those affected can contact the state-funded contact point by phone, email or on site. "We inform, advise and accompany women - even to medical appointments," says Pongratz-Elsnig. Mothers are issued with a code name and an anonymized parent-child pass so that their pregnancy can remain concealed. They can also remain completely anonymous at the birth - which is possible in all Styrian maternity wards. "They are also asked whether they want to see their child at all and asked to write a short letter," explains Pongratz-Elsnig. The baby is then given up for adoption.

Since 2001, six newborns have also been placed in the baby hatch at the maternity clinic in Graz, says Pongratz-Elsnig. Either way, there are plenty of potential adoptive parents. The child then has a "heart mother" and a "belly mother". Even after the birth, the two experts are there to support both mothers without a child and babies born anonymously. "It's a topic close to our hearts," says Reis.