20 years of love online

What to look out for when dating online

Many people try to find a partner for life via online dating (symbolic image).

(Bild: ©Kaspars Grinvalds - stock.adobe.com)

Almost two thirds of Austrians meet their love online. 450,000 said yes to each other thanks to online dating - and 350,000 online babies were "born" as a result. But what are the pitfalls? What is the best way to land a match and who dares to take the first step? Parship psychologist Caroline Erb explains. 

"Krone": Ms. Erb, how long has online dating been around and how has the industry developed?

Caroline Erb: Online platforms have been around since 2001. 15 years ago, people were still saying "we met online", but now nobody is uncomfortable with that anymore. For the last ten years, the Internet has been the undisputed number one when it comes to meeting someone. Well ahead of friends and acquaintances or the workplace. What I find exciting is that going out has taken a back seat. This way of getting to know someone has virtually disappeared since corona. Younger people are searching on all kinds of portals. You can think outside the box and get to know people you wouldn't otherwise meet.

What should you definitely look out for?
As a single person, you should check your own expectations so that you don't fall into the perfection trap. Many people are taking a more conscious approach to the topic of relationships. What do I want, what don't I want? Where do I not want to compromise? Those who get to know each other online are quicker to get things done. They move in together more quickly and get married. In offline life, you often stumble from one relationship to the next. But most singles are longing for a long-term relationship, and issues such as fidelity, reliability and humor are very important. And then, of course, you have to choose the right platform.

What is decisive when I set up my user account?
The photo is of course always decisive. But ultimately it's the psychological characteristics. Similar values, attitudes, interests. Does the relationship personality suit me? Women pay attention to good manners or spelling.

Facts & figures

Online dating has been around for 21 years. While dating was number one more than 20 years ago (34%), today only 13% of couples fall in love this way.

2.3 million Austrians have already fallen in love with someone they met online.

1.5 million have moved in with an online date.

450,000 said yes to each other thanks to online dating.

350,000 babies have already been born to online couples in Austria.

Doopposites really attract or is it true that birds of a feather flock together?
When it comes to the desire for closeness, similarities are of course better. With opposites, for example, the will to assert oneself would be an advantage. If you have two stubborn people who want to decide everything, it would be good if the other person has a certain amount of willingness to balance things out.

If I have a match, when do I start writing?
Better sooner than later, you should take the initiative. If you make someone wait too long, interest will quickly wane.

Are you braver online when it comes to approaching someone?
Yes, because many people are shy. And when I approach someone, I never know whether the person is in a relationship. Of course I can also get to know someone in the supermarket, but it's easier in writing. Once you reach a certain age, you have a fixed circle of friends, so it's rare that someone new comes along. You don't sit alone in a bar and wait to be approached. That's why the Internet is such a success story - all I need is online access.

(Bild: Krone KREATIV)

Who takes the first step online?Aremen or women more likely to take the initiative?
It's still a bit of a cliché. Women also want to be found online. But when it comes to going out, they send conscious signals. Men tend to be a bit more active, but women also dare to talk straight.

How long does it take for the first physical contact to happen?
On average, it takes three dates.

How do you think dating will develop over the next few years?
The internet will remain the undisputed number one. But the more widely I present myself, the more likely I am to meet someone. So public viewing, a vernissage, going to a concert. The call to singles is clear: nothing comes from nothing, be active. And signal that you are open to a relationship. A coffee somewhere should be a good idea.