The final end

When a marriage breaks up

Financial aspects play a decisive role in the separation

(Bild: stock.adobe.com/Lightfield Studios)

More marriages are divorced in Vorarlberg than in many other federal states. In most cases, children are also affected. Couples should definitely seek urgent support, says Sandra Walz, family counselor at ifs.

"Enough is enough" - with these words, Wilhelm Molterer once terminated his partnership with the SPÖ. Years later, Reinhold Mitterlehner announced "Enough is enough", once again drawing a line under a joint chapter of the ÖVP and SPÖ. A separation is often preceded by painful months, if not years. Attempts are often made to somehow find a way to save the partnership. However, once the relationship has broken down too deeply, the chances of getting back together are usually zero and separation is the only way out. As in politics, it is the same in life.

Only in Carinthia is the number of divorces higher
"Till death do us part" has long ceased to apply, even in the traditionally conservative province of Carinthia. According to the latest statistics, 723 couples in Vorarlberg ended their marriage prematurely last year. The number of divorces has increased significantly. There were eleven percent more divorces than in the previous year. Vorarlberg has the second highest divorce rate in Austria at over 39 percent. On average, marriages do not even last ten years.

Children often suffer from the end of a marriage. Last year, 636 girls and boys had to endure the divorce process of their parents. "Divorce has long since ceased to be a social taboo, but it remains a traumatic experience - both for the spouses and their children," says Sandra Walz from her work at ifs Family Counseling.

Divorce has long since ceased to be a social taboo, but it remains a traumatic experience - for both spouses and their children

Sandra Walz

Bild: ifs Vorarlberg

There are many reasons for divorce: a lack of communication, a lack of appreciation, breaches of trust or an unequal give and take can put a strain on relationships. Sandra Walz emphasizes that many couples do not adequately discuss important issues such as the division of responsibilities when starting a family, which leads to frustration later on. "Not talking about it often leads to accusations and reproaches," she explains. This makes it difficult to find constructive solutions. For children, the separation of their parents often means a profound change. "This means that it is not the event itself, but how it is handled that sets the course for further development," says Walz. It is important to provide age-appropriate explanations, convey a sense of security and create space for their feelings.

Parents should offer comfort and guidance - a challenge when they themselves are under a lot of stress. It is just as difficult not to take the hurt on the couple level into parenthood and to keep these two levels separate. "In the interests of the children and the adults affected, it is important that the adults receive psychological and psychosocial support during the process of separation and divorce. The focus here is on finding a fair solution for both adults that also takes into account the needs of the children." Organizations such as ifs Familienberatung support parents in ensuring the necessary stability for children.

Key issues: money, housing, maintenance
In addition to the emotional level, it is also important to clarify the formal issues as soberly as possible. A divorce requires agreement on key issues such as maintenance payments, division of assets and custody of the children. If there is no agreement, an action for divorce can be filed. Financial aspects play a decisive role. Child maintenance is due from the time of separation and spousal maintenance is due until the divorce is final. Pension provision deserves particular attention, especially if one partner has borne the main burden of childcare during the marriage. "The partner who provided most of the care has paid less into their pension provision. This can have consequences when they retire. Compensation is needed here to avoid the threat of poverty in old age."

Help for couples

More information about ifs family counseling is available on the Internet at: www.ifs.at/familienberatung

The family counselor advises couples and parents to pay attention to their own emotional stability and at the same time to make a clear distinction between their view of their ex-partner and their role as a parent. She recommends giving the children a positive view of the other parent and educating them in an age-appropriate way. A separation is never easy, but with the right support and a clear focus on the well-being of all parties involved, it can be made fairer and less stressful for everyone.