Psychologist advises

How Christmas can be truly wonderful

Symbolic picture

(Bild: stock.adobe.com)

Stress, worry lines, a longing for peace and quiet: how can Christmas possibly be truly wonderful? This is a question that many of our compatriots are now asking themselves as they feel more anxiety than joy at the supposedly joyous festivities. A psychologist from the Upper Austrian telephone counseling service has some good "insider tips".

Christmas awakens a longing for peace and harmony, for contemplation and happy get-togethers. But the reality is often different: Christmas stress, excessive demands, inflated expectations, loneliness or family discord.

How can we become calm in the face of multiple crises and personal challenges and see the magic in the little things? How can the Christmas holidays be organized in such a way that they are coherent for the respective life situation? How can we take good care of ourselves and our own needs in the face of many different expectations? This was the topic of a press conference held by Telefonseelsorge Oberösterreich on Monday. 

"Christmas time is much more intense"
Bishop Manfred Scheuer said: "Disappointments, hurts, insults, loneliness and existential worries are much more intense at Christmas time than at other times of the year. Material worries are also more noticeable. Broken relationships, the death of a life partner or friends are more noticeable at Christmas, when relationships are celebrated."

The longing for more connection and depth then meets the reality of agonizing inner emptiness. "Many people doubt, especially at Christmas, that life, that God means well with them. This side of Christmas also exists - and it should not and must not be concealed," emphasizes Scheuer.

Many have worries at the moment
Governor Thomas Stelzer also identifies many worries that many people are currently facing. "Upper Austria is the land of togetherness, of cohesion. That applies all year round, but of course especially at Christmas. Because we are living in very turbulent, challenging times. Especially now, it is important to give each other support and stability. As a country, we are doing everything we can to help where support is needed: with financial resources, advice and support. A confidential conversation is often a crucial help."

Take your own feelings seriously, say goodbye to ideal ideas
 "Even in times of uncertainty, the longing for closeness, connection and meaning remains the central question," explains Silvia Breitwieser, head of the Upper Austrian telephone counseling service. Drivenness, stress, but also the - often unfulfilled - desire for harmony seem to be inextricably linked to Christmas. This makes many people dissatisfied and self-critical. As a result, some start to compare themselves with friends, social circles, influencers, etc. - and come to the conclusion that everyone else is more organized, relaxed, satisfied and successful.

"I didn't make it again"
Barbara Lanzerstorfer-Holzner, a consultant at TelefonSeelsorge OÖ, describes situations from her day-to-day work: "We often hear the following phrases from our callers: 'I didn't make it again', 'I was too slow again, not organized enough'. In uncertain and extremely challenging times like these, this self-criticism is met with shaken confidence and a loss of trust in the world for many people.

The many crises of recent years have made us, but also society itself, more vulnerable. Going into the new year with an optimistic attitude requires much more overcoming and resilience than five years ago," says the expert. The frequent consequences of this mixture of dissatisfaction, excessive demands and self-doubt are crises of meaning, anxiety, sleep disorders, depressive moods and withdrawal.

How good it would feel in this situation to be encouraged, to be hugged or to find comfort. This need sometimes fails due to the lack of a social environment, but sometimes also due to a lack of willingness to recognize one's own vulnerability or touchability. Christmas is a good opportunity to come to terms with your own vulnerability, your own touchability and to treat yourself with care.

Psychologin Barbara Lanzerstorfer-Holzner

Bishop and governor on the worry line
Talk to the bishop or governor on the phone - this is possible on Tuesday from 6 to 8 pm (Bishop Manfred Scheuer) and from 6.30 to 7.30 pm (Governor Thomas Stelzer) at the telephone counseling service: 142.