"Schneider's glasses"
The electric Heinz
Robert Schneider is always inviting guests into his home - but this sometimes has undesirable consequences. As was the case with "electric Heinz" ...
I've never believed in psychic abilities. I've believed in it since last New Year's Eve.
For many years, my family has celebrated Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and New Year's Eve with Heinz. Heinz is an old schoolmate, a fundamentally loyal but demanding person. Why does he come so often? He doesn't want to be alone when everyone around him is celebrating. Old traditions shouldn't end overnight, so Heinz will be celebrating with us and teaching me for many years to come.
On Christmas Eve, he arrived two hours early. My wife, who is an excellent cook, was just putting the roast venison in the oven. Heinz made himself available, tied on an apron and fiddled with the oven display. It flashed, smoked briefly, then the Miele was ruined.
I'll spare you the story of how we all still managed to eat. On Christmas Day, Heinz called to ask if it was worth coming at all because the oven was broken. Fortunately, we were able to persuade an electrician friend of ours to get the high-tech appliance working provisionally. We had duck.
Heinz was chopping onions in the kitchen, thinking with tears in his eyes about my life and where I could be if I hadn't made so many big mistakes. Then his eyes fell on our aquarium. "Is that a fighting fish?" he asked my young son, tapping his finger on the glass pane, and in an instant the LED went out, the filter, the app control, everything.
On New Year's Eve, we had raclette on an ancient raclette station from the 70s that my wife inherited from her mother. "Oh, how nice!" Heinz exclaimed delightedly. Immediately there was hissing and smoking. There was no light in the dining room.
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